Thanks to Homicide: Life on the Street and The Wire, Baltimore is in the public light for all the wrong reasons. I’ve been going to the pictured shithole since 1998. It’s called Bar. Not Bar Baltimore, just Bar. So the shitty, hanging light is entirely accurate.
Bar’s the greatest shithole in the history of shithole. It’s two windows open into an alley, the jukebox is a busted tape deck, the bathrooms are toxic waste dumps and you can buy two cans of Natty Boh for $3. Victory for the drinking low-lifes of the world.
Jan 18
Given Brooklyn’s obsession with all things turn-of-the-century, this artisanal moonshine came as no surprise. But we were shocked at how drinkable it is—smooth, mellow, slightly sweet. This ain’t that stuff your friend brought back from Alabama. There’s no grimace when you take a sip—just a mild burn that makes you want another.
Try it: Straight from the bottle, which fits nicely in the back pocket of your selvage jeans.
"A beer, Jason? It’s 12:30 in the afternoon.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Scotch it is.”
“That’s better."
- I’m staying in a resort house with 11 of my closest friends. This shit is like the Real World: Military.
Feb 19Apr 23
May as well just get down to brass tacks.
Apr 29
Here Comes a Regular
May 20
The latest Ear Candy Update poster.
May 21
A sailor’s grave…
An Ear Candy Update podcast dedicated to the fine art of throwing ‘em back.
Stream online here:
Download for iTunes here: Not Drunk Just Drinking.mp3
This poster is yours. Steal it as you see fit.
Forget all the clever quotes and quips from famous drunkards. Forget the frat house nonsense and forget Don Draper and Mad Men style. I know that last one seems like a tall order. Here’s the bottom line: Your drinking is your business.
For those of you not inclined to such simplicity, here’s a more thorough set of rules.
1. Thou Shalt Learn to Enjoy Whisk(e)y.
2. There is No Such Thing as a “Chocolate Martini.”
3. Thou Shalt Not Drink a Frozen Drink.
4. Thou Shalt Not Consume Drinks With Idiotic Gimmicky Names Meant to Cover Up How Girly They Are.
5. Thou Shalt Learn to Appreciate All Forms of Beer.
6. No Worthwhile Woman Will Ever Be Impressed With How Much You Can Drink.
7. It’s More Than Okay to Drink Wine.
8. It’s Worth it to Learn the Rules and Traditions of the Drinking World Before You Go Out Into the Wild (and Make an Ass Out of Yourself).
9. The Way You Treat Bartenders and Waitstaff Says More About You Than You Know.
10. Any Free Drink is a Good Drink.
Much like the Bible, there are many more minor rules to the world of drinking, but these are the Big 10, the ones that in a general sense should guide you throughout your journey through this magical world of booze and keep you from temptation and harm. It’s a cold and frightening world out there, but by following these simple rules you definitely have a better chance of emerging unscathed. You can find the full version here: http://www.drinkplanner.com/2008/05/14/the-10-commandments-for-drinking-like-a-man/
The tracks:
Drinkin’ Again - Outkast
Roadhouse Blues (Live) - The Doors
Cigarettes and Alcohol - Oasis
Good Booze & Bad Women - Humble Pie
Sunday Morning Coming Down - Johnny Cash
Country Blues - Dock Boggs
Drunken Hearted Man - Robert Johnson
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer - John Lee Hooker
Drunken Angel - Lucinda Williams
Family Tradition - Hank Williams Jr.
The Whiskey Ain’t Working - Travis Tritt
Two More Bottles of Wine - Emmylou Harris
The Drinking Song - Loudon Wainwright III
I Got Loaded - Los Lobos I Got Drunk - Uncle Tupelo
The Piano Has Been Drinking - Tom Waits
Too Much Alcohol - Rory Gallagher
I Drink Alone - George Thorogood & The Destroyers
Moonshine Whiskey - Van Morrison
I Ain’t Drunk - Albert Collins & The Icebreakers
Gin and Juice - Snoop Doog
Roxanne - The Police
Here Comes a Regular - The Replacements
Life By the Drop - Stevie Ray Vaughan
Jun 7
I Ain’t Drunk (I’m Just Drinking)
Jun 18
Sooner or later you start drinking what you want, how you want it.
