Marcello Mastroianni in 8 ½
Dear Future Suitors of My Daughter’s,
I wish you the best of luck. Seriously. I’m not going to greet you at the door with a shotgun and try to scare the shit out of you. If I have to do that then I didn’t do my job as a father.
You see, I’ve always been truthful with her, warts and all. That’s my secret weapon. We’ve always been truthful about biology and she’s not afraid to ask me questions. She’s precocious too, so sometimes she looks the answer up and then asks me just to double check her facts.
I’m also a bit of realist. I know she’s going to have her heart broken and probably break a heart or too along the way. She might not even be into penis. She could be a girl who’s down with vagina. Fuck, I don’t know. It’s not even really my business until she makes it my business by telling me. Until then, I’m going to arm her with facts.